Flaps Down!

There are several ways to battle the cold. By far the most preferable is to simply stay inside. But when it gets this cold for this long, the inevitable reality of going outdoors begins to set in. At least, for a visitor like me, you get the novelty of seeing Muscovites in their winter survival gear.

(We all know I'm deluding myself, of course. At minus 30 degrees celsius, it really is necessary to invent a bright side no matter how much of a stretch. Otherwise, your next cab ride might just unexpectedly be to the airport. "I've got a passport," you say to yourself, "and a wallet full of credit cards. This is crazy. I can get out here. I can save myself.")

There are two variants of winter raiment for the female of the species. Some women bundle up in heavy, long furs with imposing matching hats. The others wear down parkas with knit bucket-shaped hats that come down over the ears. The unifying factor is that most women prefer hoods and will wear them up at all times.

On the other hand, there are 4 kinds of hats in Russia for men.

First, and most simple, is the simple black knit ski cap. This is a cheap and functional option, with the ability to pull it down over the ears making it a popular choice. It’s a somewhat ominous fashion accessory when paired with a heavy black leather coat. This is generally worn by young men - the sort of guys who don't wear hats at all when its a bit warmer.

What I’ve always known as the “english driving cap” is very popular. Tweed and heavier fabrics are popular, but wool-lined leather versions are also available. In either case, the local variant comes with ear flaps that swing down from the inside. These caps seem to be worn by men of all ages.

A variety I’ve never seen before is called the “Austrian” cap. It’s a high-crowned, fur-lined cap with external ear flaps. The “Austrian” is very, very popular. In particular, it seems a favorite of middle aged men - the sort of men who don't look like they'd wear something like an english cap. The history is murky, but I suspect its about as "Austrian" as french toast is French.


This is the most traditional and perhaps most popular hat in truly cold weather: the ushanka. The name of this hat has the word for “ear” (usha) right in it. So its heavy duty gear for the whole head. Size and luxuriousness of the fur are indicators of social status. The gaudiest and biggest ushankas ever made are reserved, it seems, for American tourists at the outdoor souvenir market. It’s quite easy to spot them; NorthFace jacket, messenger bag, Merril GoreTex boots, an enormous fur hat, and a ridiculous self-congratulatory grin for “fitting in with the locals”.

Among the Russians etiquette is relatively strict, though. One doesn’t wear the ushanka in mild weather – any where north of the freezing mark, it seems to me. To do so is to invite hostile and perplexed stares from normally inscrutable Russian passersby. And, most importantly, one doesn’t bring down the ear flaps except for during the absolutely most severe weather.

This week qualifies as severe, so there's no social faux pas in not putting the flaps down. Quite to the contrary - you'd be crazy not to.