The Welcome Wagon

I took the bus back to Ulan Ude today to catch a train to Irkutsk. It was the same painstaking journey that I made in the opposite direction. But today, there was a slight twist.

In the town of Turka, we came upon a roadblock. Two AK-47 toting Interior Ministry soldiers got on board. I was wearing my russian jacket and my russian knit cap, but they "made" me immediately and bee-lined right for my seat.

"What's your citizenship," one of them asked.
"USA," I said.
"Where are you going?" he continued.
"From Ust Barguzin to Ulan Ude," I answered.
"Stand up, please."

Yikes - this is the moment when you grab your things and get hustled off the bus for further interrogation. I know because it's happened to me in the Baltics, Poland, and Belarus.

As I stood there, the other soldier looked at me and said to his companion: "Too tall."

Then the first soldier made his announcement. "The bank has been destroyed and a large amount of money stolen. We're looking for a shortish man, in bad clothing, black and white patterns on his pants."

I didn't fit that description at all. Not even close. They didn't mention that they suspected an american or a foreigner in general. Its just another example of why Russia will probably never make the league tables for attracting tourist dollars.

But on the bright side, my international criminal gang's plan for robbing small banks in desolate, impoverished Russian villages is well on track for success.